not so boring things about the boring, blur me

     Hmm… Gooi Harvey, the seemingly innocent boy is going to tackle the "S" word taboo topic… hehehe… this must be interesting.. hehehe..

     Well.. what can i say.. since my last few posts have been quite.. erm.. uninteresting.. I’m gonna spice some things up… HEHEHEHEHEHE (evil laughter that can be heard from miles away, causing many to tremble in fear..)

     YES!! IT"S THE THING EVERYONE DOES, BUT NONE IS WILLING TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!

     TODAY"S TOPIC IS………………………………………………..

NO!! You’re wrong.. not sex… it’s… JENG JENG JENG JENG……….

SHIT!!!

     Yes.. today’s topic is SHIT. My classmates should know that i LOVE to talk about shit.. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. MY PASSION… SHIT!!!

     well.. I must say that i’m influenced by Shin Chan in this matter… what struck me was the story of WIRA TAHI and UNCHI-MAN!! Unchi-man mengekalkan keadilan dengan memastikan rakyat dapat menikmati keseronokan berak.. Wira Tahi merupakan wira yang menggalakkan rakyat untuk berak di mana mana sahaja dan tidak malu..

     Oh well.. i can’t be Unchi-man.. cuz he has special abilities like shooting shit cannons.. BUT Wira tahi.. I can be.. Wira tahi are just a bunch of people who promotes good shitting habits.. which is to say… not keeping your shit in when they obviously want freedom from your intestinal prison..

     YES!! Why keep your shit in? It’s a completely unhealthy habit in which most people in the world do! When you want to shit, go and do it.. you know you want to.. Why suffer? Enjoy shitting!! Once your poop is all out, your suffering stops!!

     SO, now.. everyone, PLEASE!! Shit when you want to shit.. you know they want to come out.. grant them their freedom.. You know you can hear them pleading.. "please, please, let us out.. we want to see the outside world…" and when you don’t, they’ll go, "LET US OUT OR WE’LL BURST OUT THROUGH YOUR NAVEL!!"

     Of course.. In order to enjoy shitting, you need to prevent BUASIR!! What’s buasir? erm.. i do not know the word in english.. but.. it’s a kind of growth in your anus, that hurts like hell when you shit..

     To prevent buasir

- step 1: Do not eat too much spicy food

-step 2: Maintain good asshole hygien

(wash your butt, not just wipe them)

-step 3: er… i dunno anymore..

     See… simple steps to enjoy shitting to the fullest!! I hope this post  is able to change your mindset about shitting..

     Let us all be Wira Tahi and encourage good shitting habits amongst our people.. SO, the next time you feel like shitting, go up to your lecturer and say it proudly.. Sir, I want to SHIT!!!

        There’s just one thing that annoys me… and that is Malaysians constantly complain about the level of cleanliness in the country.. But i have one thing to tell some of these complain kings and queens: Don’t complain when you yourselves litter the country with thrash like birds throwing their poop around..

     One such example is well.. my family.. not me though.. From a young age, we were taught that throwing rubbish is wrong.. right? no shades of brown here.. it’s plainly green and red. (for those who don’t understand, please read my past post)

     What i DO NOT understand is why my mom scolds me for holding the empty Yeo’s Teh Bunga Kekwa box around. Erm.. this happened a long time ago, untill I finally found the courage to give her a piece of my mind concerning thrash..

     Yeapz.. lots of parents do this, right? admit it.. Not only my mom.. We get scolded for trying to keep the country clean, by holding onto thrash untill we find a tharsh bin.

     BUT when we go into Singapore.. We get scolded by our parents for littering their grounds! WHAT?! It’s right to litter in Malaysia, but it’s wrong to litter in Singapore? What lesson are our parents trying to teach us? That we should respect rules of other countries, but ignore our very own Malaysian rules?!

     Now this is the mindset of Singaporeans.. at least Singaporeans that i’ve seen.. which are my relatives.. These are things that i’ve heard and seen.

     Case 1: My aunts from Singapore taught their children this. "Wo men jai Malaysia.. ni shou shang na ke la ji ke yi tiu de.. bu yong jao la ji tong. Meaning? We’re in Malaysia. The thrash in your hands can be thrown away.. You don’t have to look for a thrash bin..

     Case 2: Ni men yao diu la ji, jiu kuai kuai diu.. Malaysia bu hui jua ni de.. hui chu Singapore, bu ke yi luan luan diu la ji liao hor.. Meaning? If you people want to throw your rubbish, throw it quick. You won’t get caught for littering in Malaysia. But when you return to Singapore, you cannot do this anymore..

     It is no wonder why ppl in JB (Johor Bahru) have this saying: Half of the thrash you see on the roads are contributed by Singaporeans. Hmm.. Well.. it’s a little exagerated.. but well..  you get the meaning.

     And on the highways.. you’ll see 90% of Singapore cars speeding like they’re trying to break the current speed record. Well..  they buy their expensive cars, but can’t use their car’s potential to the fullest.. where else to flaunt their babies but Malaysia’s highways? My uncle said this to my mom.."hahahaha.. Wo men ar.. chong Singapore lai ar.. ru guo yao chong leh, jiu shou ji jang wu shi kuai zhi jai men de pang bian de pocket.." Meaning? hahahaha.. We ar.. from Singapore ar.. If want to speed leh, we keep a few RM 50 notes at the door’s pocket.. Why keep RM 50? erm.. why else.. heard of Coffee Money? hmm… To them.. RM 50 is less than $s 25.. so? To them it’s nothing.. so? LET’S FLY…

     And the last thing.. is.. well.. Chewing gums!! ok, they don’t throw chewing gums around.. but just to inform those who don’t know.. Singapore is sadly deprived of chewing gums.. chewing gums are banned in Singapore, and only obtainable through the dentist, if you have some kind of dental problem. SO, the moment my cousins step unto Malaysian soil, the first snack they’ll ask for is.. well.. chewing gums.. BUt luckily, they do not throw them around.. if not? I’m sure to use a Ha Dou Ken, followed by a Shin-ryuu Ken. While they’re in the air, i charge my Kamehameha and blast them with it, sending them to a planet called, Chewing Gum land…

     Well, these are experiences that i’ve had with my Singaporean relatives.. AND am not saying that All Singaporeans do that.. only… erm.. according to my Singaporean relatives, majority of them do so.. I’ll leave the judgment up to you peepz..

     Lastly, to all Malaysians.. IF YOU DO NOT KEEP YOUR COUNTRY CLEAN, WHO WILL!!!

     Can I ask you peepz a question? Why is it that I have to cut my hair the way other’s like, and not the way i’m comfortable with?

     So, fine… I LOVE my DGH (dry grass hair)… so? Sue me? I can’t comb my hair… cuz.. 1, i have absolutely no combing skills. (combing does require some skills (~_~") ) 2, i look absurd having my hair combed. 3, I’ll laugh at myself to death looking at the reflection in the mirror.

     As in, duh? If i don’t feel comfortable having styled hair, why go with it? Each time i cut my hair, i feel like a walking disaster.. And this message just can’t seem to get through the thick skull of some wool brained people.

     I feel absolutely fine walking around with my DGH.. well..

     As i’m writing this post… I feel that everyone around is staring at my absolutely horrendous "styled" hair.. Why? I just CUT MY HAIR!!! And i absolutely feel ashamed to be around people.. and guess wad? THis hair costs RM35!!!

     Spend RM35 for me to look dumb? come on… No offense to the hair-stylist.. the cut may look absolutely gorgeous on others.. I mean.. i just dun like it!! so why is it that i’m always forced to cut my hair?

     My goodness… why can’t i feel good in my own hair? Why must i abide to what others think is nice?

     Some may argue that public view on us is very important.. but.. to hell with the view of others when i can’t even look at myself in the mirror.. Wad’s the point of having a supposedly good hairstyle, when you can’t even feel that you look good in it? As in… I can’t even bring myself about confidently.. wad’s the point of looking "good"?

     Sigh.. DGH… Dry Grass Hair… T___T i’ll miss you… Meet you again in another… 3-4 months.. yep… that’s a lot of hair cut out of my head…

     As children, we were thought how to differentiate good from bad, holiness and evil, green and red…

     Wait!! red and green? well.. erm… my own way of saying black and white… cuz.. well… some ppl (including me) feel it’s unfair to consider black as bad and white as good… ahahahahhaha.. so cuz green is my fav colour, thus green=good, and red=bad.. alas, red+ green= brown, brown=grey…

     So, i guess my title for this post should really be shades of brown..

     You see, as we progress in life, red and green starts to blend with each other, making brown. Decisions we make are no longer based on good and bad..

     Take the story of Death Note as an example.. Raito kills villians, terrorists and all the other wrongdoers to create a world where peace prevails.. Is his doing wrong? Is his killing of others justified? But then again, haven’t we all thought, isn’t it better if these people are dead? Shades of brown…

     Raito’s move did make the world’s crime rate plunge drastically, isn’t it good? Is it good? But L is hell bent on capturing Raito.. Does this make L the good guy?

     You’re poor.. but since it’s only right to buy original cds,vcds and dvds, you buy the original ones? is it wrong that the poorer rakyat buy pirated ones? or should they forsake entertainment? Hmm?

     We all know that lying is "wrong", but when parents lie to their young to keep them from getting dissapointed, from getting worried.. Is it wrong? Is it right? Shades of brown..

     Teasing is bad? But what if that teasing has motivated that person to be better? But then again, the victims do suffer emotionally… So? Call the bullies bad?

     Killing is wrong, but when you kill someone in defense of your life, is it wrong? is it right? In Malaysian law, if i’m not incorrect, the doing Is considered WRONG.. Is the action justified? But then again, don’t tell me that in order to abide to the law, we stupidly let ourselves be killed? Dumb move, no?

     So what is Red? What is Green? What is bad? What is good? What is evil? What is holy? What is right? What is wrong?

     So? How do one make decisions? Flip coins? Duh… Well? How? Confusing right? Sighz… why i post this title? i have no idea? cuz this post makes me blur as well… life is one big blur thing…. And blur people like me gets even more blur… T___T