not so boring things about the boring, blur me

     Can I ask you peepz a question? Why is it that I have to cut my hair the way other’s like, and not the way i’m comfortable with?

     So, fine… I LOVE my DGH (dry grass hair)… so? Sue me? I can’t comb my hair… cuz.. 1, i have absolutely no combing skills. (combing does require some skills (~_~") ) 2, i look absurd having my hair combed. 3, I’ll laugh at myself to death looking at the reflection in the mirror.

     As in, duh? If i don’t feel comfortable having styled hair, why go with it? Each time i cut my hair, i feel like a walking disaster.. And this message just can’t seem to get through the thick skull of some wool brained people.

     I feel absolutely fine walking around with my DGH.. well..

     As i’m writing this post… I feel that everyone around is staring at my absolutely horrendous "styled" hair.. Why? I just CUT MY HAIR!!! And i absolutely feel ashamed to be around people.. and guess wad? THis hair costs RM35!!!

     Spend RM35 for me to look dumb? come on… No offense to the hair-stylist.. the cut may look absolutely gorgeous on others.. I mean.. i just dun like it!! so why is it that i’m always forced to cut my hair?

     My goodness… why can’t i feel good in my own hair? Why must i abide to what others think is nice?

     Some may argue that public view on us is very important.. but.. to hell with the view of others when i can’t even look at myself in the mirror.. Wad’s the point of having a supposedly good hairstyle, when you can’t even feel that you look good in it? As in… I can’t even bring myself about confidently.. wad’s the point of looking "good"?

     Sigh.. DGH… Dry Grass Hair… T___T i’ll miss you… Meet you again in another… 3-4 months.. yep… that’s a lot of hair cut out of my head…

     As children, we were thought how to differentiate good from bad, holiness and evil, green and red…

     Wait!! red and green? well.. erm… my own way of saying black and white… cuz.. well… some ppl (including me) feel it’s unfair to consider black as bad and white as good… ahahahahhaha.. so cuz green is my fav colour, thus green=good, and red=bad.. alas, red+ green= brown, brown=grey…

     So, i guess my title for this post should really be shades of brown..

     You see, as we progress in life, red and green starts to blend with each other, making brown. Decisions we make are no longer based on good and bad..

     Take the story of Death Note as an example.. Raito kills villians, terrorists and all the other wrongdoers to create a world where peace prevails.. Is his doing wrong? Is his killing of others justified? But then again, haven’t we all thought, isn’t it better if these people are dead? Shades of brown…

     Raito’s move did make the world’s crime rate plunge drastically, isn’t it good? Is it good? But L is hell bent on capturing Raito.. Does this make L the good guy?

     You’re poor.. but since it’s only right to buy original cds,vcds and dvds, you buy the original ones? is it wrong that the poorer rakyat buy pirated ones? or should they forsake entertainment? Hmm?

     We all know that lying is "wrong", but when parents lie to their young to keep them from getting dissapointed, from getting worried.. Is it wrong? Is it right? Shades of brown..

     Teasing is bad? But what if that teasing has motivated that person to be better? But then again, the victims do suffer emotionally… So? Call the bullies bad?

     Killing is wrong, but when you kill someone in defense of your life, is it wrong? is it right? In Malaysian law, if i’m not incorrect, the doing Is considered WRONG.. Is the action justified? But then again, don’t tell me that in order to abide to the law, we stupidly let ourselves be killed? Dumb move, no?

     So what is Red? What is Green? What is bad? What is good? What is evil? What is holy? What is right? What is wrong?

     So? How do one make decisions? Flip coins? Duh… Well? How? Confusing right? Sighz… why i post this title? i have no idea? cuz this post makes me blur as well… life is one big blur thing…. And blur people like me gets even more blur… T___T   

     Let’s just say.. My holidays so far have been spent serving my little cousins. And Wad The Hell… why must they come up from Singapore on the same day as I’m back from Uni?!!

     And being the older cousin, i’m supposed to "rang lu"( give way ). But @#$%^ la… i bought my PS2 for myself, not for them!! i worked for it… and bought it with my money to let them enjoy? Hell crap, it’s so unfair.. I can’t even reap wad i sowed. Stupid "rang lu" thing… wad happened to "jun jong pi ni da de ren"?( respect for your elders ). Well… I’m technically older than them right?

     Well.. those three cousins are the very sole reason of me disliking children. Grrr… Especially the youngest one. Finally the two older kids have stopped playing the PS2, I change the Digimon disk(I had to buy that game with my own money to "entertain" them) into Final Fantasy XII, Load the game, and here comes the famous liner from the youngest cousin… "baby yao kan ultraman"( baby want to see ultraman )

     Wah piang eh… how many times have he seen that same old episode of that ultraman cosmos la?! Not sien wan meh? And hell Crap… If i dun give in, POOF! He’ll go on a screaming frenzy!! Screaming BABY YAO KAN SI!!! MUMMY!!! BABY YAO KAN SI!! AAAAAAAAAA!!!! BABY YAO KAN SI!!!!!

     And he’s wad? 2 years old? Or was it 3? I forgot… Anyway.. isn’t he too big to call himself baby? he wun refer himself as "wo"( I ) He’ll refer to himself as "baby" Baby yao this… baby yao dat… baby yao da pian… baby yao siao pian… grr..

     I swear if that is my child, i would strainght away gave him a tight slap down his tiny, little face. So hard that he’ll be able to kiss the moon! GRRRRR!!!

     He’ll cry like crap each and everytime anything doesn’t go his way. AAAAH.. LORD!!! Protect me from this mandragora!!! My ears are suffering!!!

     Seriously… this is my holiday, as much as it is theirs. So why must i sacrifice my holidays serving them? I can’t even bare to be at home this holidays. Always trying to find any excuse possible to get the out of the house. I’ll just go anywhere, as long as there’s no screaming children..

     Right now… i really feel like screaming like him too… T______T

     Twas only a month or so before i left to the university… And even so, i came back once every fortnight.. and to my horror.. for both the times i left and came back, i saw big changes to Ipoh Garden East…

     What happened? Why all these changes all of a sudden?! first time i came back.. Got to know that Fair Mart in Bercham was in a dire state… the first floor was completely closed down, and all the things were shifted down to the ground floor.. What else? Er… dunno lar… can’t remember.

     The second time when I was back, what happened? I can’t remember also… but the changes are there… ( I think i’m getting old.. got my first white hair, and losing my oh, so, very limited memory space capacity )

     And this time when i’m back!!!! Rashi mini mart shifted to the where Klinik Minder once stood.. Klinik Minder Shifted over to… i dunno used to be wad shop ( stilll same row though ) Where Rashi minimart once stood… is now the extension of that coffee shop!!! Wah piang!! ALL THIS IN 2 WEEKS?

     Got to know that the sundry shop will be closing down at the end of the year, and to be taken o’er by Coffee Net.. And this, and that, and this… and that…

     Come on lar… is it not weird? that only after I have left, all this changes take place? Sigh… I’m sure more things WILL change in my absence, since after this, i do not know when i will be back… T___T ( why am i talking as if i’m leaving for war ar? )

     YES!!! I lost my handphone, along with my 012 number. Which menas, i lost ALL my contacts!!! SO please, please, please sms me with your name in it so i can compile all your numbers again!!! Oh Ya!!! SMS it to my 016 number which is… 016-3414125!!!

     How i got my handphone stolen? I was in Pudu, you see… Then no bus but Feeder Busses… And you know how these feeder bus works right? You wait outside pudu, then rush up the bus when it comes… So when i was rushing up that friggin bus, it was then, my H/P got stolen… T____T

     Wad to do? Bus started moving only realized that my H/P was not in my pocket anymore… I seriously salute the pick pocket la.. my jeans was so tight, and the H/P was in my side pocket… NOT the hind pocket, mind you… so dun go accusing me that i so stupid, go and put my H/P in the back pocket!!!

     But damn crappy… In Ipoh, how often do you see ppl use nokia 3220 lei? seldon rite? BUT LMAO!!!! In my campus, you see almost everyone using Nokia 3220!!! WA!!!!! Miss mine handphone much!!!! (mine H/P also nokia 3220)

     So maybe i’ll go get a new 012 number… since family all using 012.. so if I do get a 012 number, i’ll contact you guys le…

     Just to tell you guys la.. Fai Si got ppl say i sombong, dun wanna reply your messages… LOL! So, now you know, cannot say i sombong liao lo? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

     *Laughing so hard that the cyber cafe guy pulls me by the back of my collar and drags me out, where i continued to BWAHAHAHAHAHA for another 10 minutes, scaring everyone within a range of 10 metres around me…. T___T

Great Heavens… Life in UNISEL is like… erm… Fattening, to say the least.. I guess the main aim for the canteen ppl is to… Kill the people that can’t eat spicy food.. Why?

1) All food there is almost all spicy ( to starve these ppl to death )

2) The only non spicy meat dish is fried chicken ( to kill those who eat by getting

    them to have high cholesterol lvls )

    So I was like… wah liao… everyday wanna eat fried chicken meh? It’s so.. ish… so me and my friends decided to cook whenever possible lo… which turned out to be at least one meal is cooked by ourselves..

    BUT!!! DENG…. they keep cooking nuggets, sausages, and fried stuffs… And i was like… (~_~") Beats the reason of why we cooked in the first place right? So, eat less lor… now getting skinnier liao lor… eeesh… why can’t i healthily get fat???? must i get fat and get my cholesterol lvl higher??!! I can’t accept this fact!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WHY, WHY, TELL ME WHY????

(10 minutes later after i ran around the cyber cafe screaming NOOOOOOO)

     Ahem…. anyway, Hope non of my lecturers will add me into their friendster list.. if they have one lar… or not… habis man… this will completely malu-fy me.. Sure to give me lower marks man… Ahahahahahaha

     Anyway… I thought it was gonna easy for me to take this course… TESL.. BUT %$#!^&^  It’s kinda hard, man… ugh… subject-verb agreement… academic reading skills… Listening and speaking skills… WAH!!!! So deng… but can survive lar… hahahahaha… T’was just unexpected

     Now i’m doing a research… on listening… and the topic that our group chose was… Listening in animals.. ( i wanted listening to our bonsai )

     Internet connection there so slow… cannot do these kind of research… ave to spend RM25 to come back to ipoh just to use the cyber cafe here… man….

Hahahahaha… being the ever so NO FASHION SENSE person that I am, my hair is usually.. What Jessie and Hilyan calls, Dry Grass Hair (DGH) Well… i seriously do not know wad to do with my hair..

     Anyway, since i’m going to uni, thought of changing my hair.. but seriously blur about wad hair suits me.. Any suggestions peepz?

     Well, i do like it when my hair was longer, like the time after SPM, i was simply too lazy to cut it, and some ppl say it was nice.. But some said.. "Eeeew, cut of the hair, dude.." Hahaha.. some said that it looked like the "Beatles" hairstyle back in those days.. (~_~")

     Some says that i look better with my normal, short hair.. Some say that i should spike it.. SWTZ!! Well, I laughed at my reflection in my mirror and almost died of suffocation when i tried it… cuz my hair won’t stand.. it goes "n" shape.. hahaha… then it’ll look like wilted lalang… Wakakakakaka

     So like.. any suggestions or not? Leave as many suggestions please? pretty please? i really dun want to be called dry grass anymore….. T___T

Few days after i deleted my post about MCO, i saw this article in The Star newspaper… Here’s a little of wad was written in the article, that I think the ppl of MCO shud read…

     When Pun KAi Loon decided tp play an active role in the DAMA orchestra over a decade ago, it was out of sympathy for it’s producer and music director Khor Seng Chew.

     "I found that he was surviving on roti canai and Maggi mee. It didn’t make sense to me that someone as talented as Seng Chew, who had already established himself as a national champion pipa player, had to live like this.

     " Many view Chinese music as second grade when in fact it is as good, if not better, than our western counterparts. So why are chinese musicians and instrumentalists not accorded the same respect? And why are they paid peanuts for their talent?

    " IT became my personal mission to use Dama as a platform to showcase these often overlooked talents," said Pun.

     Pun, who is the chief perating officer of SBF.com Sdn Bhd that runs cradit and information portal Creditassess.com, is also a director with PE Reserach, an economic and planning consultancy.

     "His love affair with Dama started in 1994 when he attended one of his shows. It was, according to him, love at first musical note.

     "My background is in English theatre and i studied acting with Mustafa Noor. So my knowledge of Chinese musicwas at that time rather limited. But with my fayjer’s influence, I became familiar with classical Chinese music. I didn’t know how beautiful it ws untill I attended the show."

     Because of his love for the arts, he started helping the then fledgling Dama by writing brief excerpts in English for its souvenir programmes, handling its English correspondence and playing jaga (security guard).

     Excerpt from The Star, ( Retelling of a classic, 18 august 2006, friday, The Star, Star Two, Music, page 6, By Li Ee Kee )

     As you can see, life as a Chinese orchestra member in a Western oriented school is hard… DAMN, FRIGGIN HARD!!! Be ready for it when you get a place in the exco board.

     BUT!!! like in the article… the ARE ppl out there who are English educated, YET, they strife for Chinese music… These are really ppl that i respect!! Besides Dama, PCC (profesional culture centre)  is also another GREAT organisation that is trying to promote Chinese music to the Western world… If you read The Star, there are like so many articles about Dama and PCCO ( CO of PCC). There’s a FAMOUS gu zheng teacher Based in Singapore that studied in MGS.. And she was as banana as us SMI guys… She can’t read chinese too.. and yet, she’s like soo sucessful now. ( She learned in Simson too.. see her picture framed on the wall.. she’s the girl in specs, receiving an award frm some Datin )

     Seriously… The fact that MCO missed the chance to go to PCCO’s concert yeaterday is such a waste… But, dun worry… They have concerts every year.. so just go to their website ( they have an English version ) http://www.pccorchestra.net/ They even have a forum in English.. Great news for us Banana SMI students… But.. Ahem.. the site has been revamped.. and it’s diff from how it was the last time i visited ( 2 years ago ).. so there’ no forum now.. sighz

     So, for those who want to read the "MCO blues" ( my post that i deleted), wait a while ar.. I will repost it again… and try to remember as much as i can about wad i wrote that time..

     So, i do guess there is still hope for MCO to steer towards sucess.. at least i can see that there’s more hope, albeit still small… BUT, with a good captain, the ship can seriously reach shore!!! ALL THE BEST!!!!

     I’ll still TRY to help in anyway that i can, although not as a player, or senior advisor, or a student advisor… In the mean time… Hopefully Choon Leong can carry on my role, with the help of Huoy Tyng.. Since I wun be in Ipoh…   

POOF!!! Just when i thought that drama was over, and that’s the most depressing phase of leaving school, comes the end of the Genting trip.. and the end of the Singaporean chinese drama series that i was watching (Bukit Ho Swee), and also the end of the comic that i was following, Death Note…

     It’s like… OMG!!! Wad is this.. is God trying to tell me sumthin here?? Is he really trying to tell me..( Imagine a big booming voice coming from nowhere, but everywhere ) "HARVEY… YOUR TIME HERE IN IPOH HATH ENDED… MOVE ON, AND ONWARDS TO YOUR NEXT DESTINATION….."

     It’s like… Hell crap lar… Bukit Ho Swee has such a nostalgic ending… cuz it was a flashback of the main character.. Death Note ended with the death of my favourite character, Mello… It’s like Ish… yea… enough la… Enough of sad endings la.. UGH… all these things added up to make my sadness of leaving worse.. WHY IS GOD DOING THIS TO ME!!!!

     Well… I really do believe that things happen for a reason.. that my moving away is all part of God’s plan… Well.. Our God does work in mysterious ways… For example… leaving Johore to come to Ipoh has made me a more quiet person, and humbled me.. cuz.. well, in Johore.. The english there is so friggin bad, that ppl there automatically assumes that a person who can speak English is from Singapore, or in my case, they’ll ask my mother.. " ta de pa pa shi wai guo ren ar? " meaning, "Is his father a foreigner?"….

     Well, to me, if i were to stay there, i’d probably be a *censored* snob being too proud of my English.. Cuz livin here in Ipoh really opened up my eyes.. and made me realize that my English is not dat good anywayz..

     And it is in Ipoh dat i found my passion for music, learned to swim, learned a new chinese dialect (cantonese)… All in which cannot be found or learned in Johore.. So, i guess dat leaving Ipoh would bring me even more experience guar…

     For now, i could juz hope and pray and wish dat life outside of Ipof does not suck… I’ll sure miss everyone in Ipoh… 2 more weeks left in Ipoh… sighz..

     KYRIE ELEISON!!!!!! ( God have mercy )….

Sunday, August 20th, the whole drama production crew sang the school rally for the last time at the end of the school drama with full of spirit, including me. To the others, it marked the end of the drama. To me, it marked the end of me being a student of SMI… The LAST time for me to sing the the school rally.

     I guess  it’s the best way to leave school.. finally redeemed myself through the drama after the failure of performing my best during the choral speaking when i was in form one… The guilt is still there even after 5 years since the incident.. That incident really broke me and made me into a different person..

     During the drama audition, part of me was hoping i would not get a role.. or even if i got one, i hoped for it to be a small role.. The fear of me blundering on stage again really made me feel stressed..

     Oh well, i got the part of a gargoyle, quite a big part, to me, at least.. Accepted it and… finally completed the task… well, did blunder a tiny bit, in which the audience din realize.. So… YEAH!!! Did make me feel a little better..

     It’ll be hard for me to leave school after knowing so many weird people from the drama… for example… my female gargoyle partner, Suksimaran Kaur… the only girl whom i know who throws expletives like it’s nothing and drives like a drunkard.. not to mention perverted as well… ahem… And of course the siren, Premitha, My make up and wardrobe assistant, Yow Jen and the twins, Mei Ling and Siew Ling..

     And hahahaha… got to know that Jessie and Hilyan thought my hair looked like dry grass… Ahem.. Din know that they were laughing at my hair in class untill the last day.. OK la.. so i dun comb my hair… you’ll laugh harder if i do comb it and probably suffocate to death due to laughing  if i "spike" my hair..

     SO, i’ll be leaving in..about 3 weeks time.. Hmm.. have to start buying stuffs to go to my new place… NOT Kelantan… Puh-lease… whoever said i was going to Kelantan is such an Idiot… It simply means he dun know me at all… CUZ… I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT CHAR SIEW AND SIEW YOKE…. and it soooo hard to get those in Kelantan… even if I get full scolarship to further my studies there, i’m sure to reject it man….